Whose Face is it Anyway?

Resorption

2010-12-10T20:10:00.000-08:00

I just realized that I never broached the subject of resorption. I am not sure if I am spelling this correctly. Very simply put, likely due to the damage my jaw sustained which is inherent in the surgery, one of my teeth died (root was dissolved almost completely). Due to numbness in the jaw I had no tooth pain and nearly lost the tooth altogether. I had a very extensive root canal and so far so good. The tooth is still there! I just wanted to mention that it is something to keep an eye out for. Maybe you can ask you dentist to keep and extra set of eyes on your xrays so it can be caught before it gets too bad. I caught mine in the nick of time!

What a difference a chin makes

2010-12-10T20:05:00.000-08:00

Just checking in to the blog. Two years out and still feeling good. The weight that has been lifted off of me due to how I felt about my personal appearance is huge. I have a better career now and feel so much better about myself. My jaw is still stiff, and I have never gotten back full range of motion, but it is almost back to normal. Hell, this is my new normal. I don't have any regrets, except that with my new face I look better without bangs (and I LOVE bangs).

It is a scary surgery to think about. It is pretty intense. What a tough choice to make. If I had it to do all over again I would say 100% yes! I might opt out of the chin repositioning (because now I have a really strong chin), but I would not take my decision back for a million dollars. :)

And the healing really wasn't that bad. With proper pain meds and hygiene. It really is a bearable and doable procedure to have. It takes commitment. 1 to 2 years of braces and another year of healing afterward, but I feel it was really REALLY worth it.

I'll check back in soon to see how everyone is doing! Good luck!

Keeping the blog up

2010-10-04T19:04:00.000-07:00

I am keeping the blog up because I realize that the journey posted here is a good reference for others. It really is a challenge to go through this and the more you know, the better. It is not like having a baby...most people you know have not gone through orthognathic surgery. Please post questions if you have them, I will try to answer!

It seems like a way long time ago...

2010-10-04T18:58:00.000-07:00

Wow! I had surgery 2 years ago. I can't believe it has been that long. I am used to my new face now. Since the jaw surgery I have ahd several eye procedures (different disease, lucky me), and anticipate more. I feel very lucky to have had the surgery, and thankful that I did. I feel much better about the way I look, and I am sure I am much more confident. So, two years out, life looks like this.

Sooo....

2010-02-09T14:39:00.001-08:00

This surgery seems so long ago now. It feels normal, almost like it never happened, and I am so happy with the result. The new me is now just me. When I look in the mirror I see myself. It took a while to get used to it, but I know how to smile with my new face now. I learned to re-eat, learned to smile, learned that I can survive without solid food for six weeks.

So, I am taking the blog down soon. I hope that those people who followed it found it useful. I hope looking at the before and after pics, and reading about how it really wasn't so bad inspired some, and maybe calmed the nerves of others.

Too Diligently!

2009-06-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

FOr those of you that asked, I wore my rubberbands 24/7 as instructed. The day I went in to get my braces off I was a little bit "over-corrected" and they weren't sure they were going to take the braces off. They left it up to me and I said "take them off" as loudly as I could! :)

After two days, my bite settled right where they wanted it to, and all seems to be well. Chewing is a dream, an absolute dream!!!

NO BRACES!

2009-06-15T17:04:00.001-07:00

They almost did not take them off. I wore my rubberbands too diligently.

Healing

2009-06-05T14:12:00.001-07:00

You know you are really starting to heal when your jaw clenching/grinding comes back. I still have tightness on the right side, but I think that will fade once I get these gross braces off and can really throw some food up in there! This is such a long process.

Pretty Please!

2009-05-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

June 15th. That is the day that I am to be debraced. I could not be looking forward to that more. Last time I went in they seemed a little skeptical about the date that they had set. They are "torquing" a few teeth. All I gots ta say is that this metal better come OFF! I am ready to get rid of it and work on getting my ROM back where it used to be. I've been wearing rubberbands for the last two months. Rubberbands suck. I am so ready to eat pad thai without picking bean sprouts out of my teeth. I am sick of sucking food out of my brace and digging around with my tongue. Also, I am totally ready to get an aqua retainer with sparkles, which is what I want. I hope that is a choice. This process is almost over. THEN I will get my eyes decompressed (due to thyroid eye disease, totally unrelated to the jaw, but it will make my eyes MUCH less prominent and get rid of all of the associated discomfort and pain, but that's another blog), and be done with all of this "work".

Something weird...

2009-05-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

So, my surgery was in October and my husband deployed in December.I did go to visit him in Europe for about 9 days last month, and he will be home soon, but...he is not used to the way I look now yet. In Europe he was talking about how good my chin looked and I just realized that I have had six plus months to get used to this, and he hasn't had any time at all really. I wonder if it is going to be weird for him. I think I will catch him staring a lot, just trying to acclimate. I just wonder if it will be weird. I was still swollen when he left. Barely eating and all. Hmmm...

Take it off...take it all off!

2009-05-22T18:11:00.000-07:00

June 15th is my scheduled debracing day, provided all has moved as planned. I have those pesky rubberbands and I can't wait to get these damn things off!

I did get a new tattoo the other day to commemorate all things star trek. I'll put the picture up here. Oh, and I am planning on having an eye decompression surgery soon. If all goes well I will have all the pain and blurriness in my swollen eyes relieved. New eyes? A ew jaw? I'm starting to feel like Joan Rivers!

I know the picture is flipped, but that is just because I am lazy.

May 2

2009-04-26T20:20:00.000-07:00

I am going to try to take front and profile pictures on May 2nd. That marks the 7 month mark for me. I hope some of you find the photos helpful. I really wrote this blog to be mostly informative on what I am going through in the first year of healing. That was all I wanted to know about prior to my surgery. I have tried to keep most of the pics on the homepage so they are easy to find. Maybe that is because I was most concerned about the physical changes for my surgery, as my other issues were so minimal. I have experienced some great side effects though. I no longer clench, I have fewer headaches, and while on a soft diet I discovered Greek yogurt with honey...my new favorite food!

Jaw Rant that Barely Pertains to Me

2009-04-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

I still think it is wild how many blogs there are out there dedicated to jaw surgery. I am now going to rant.

The insurance companies piss me off in that they don't cover these procedures, which for most people are medically necessary. To add insult to injury, my insurance covered my surgery 100% and I had minimal medical issues relating to my massive overbite.

It seems the Canadian bloggers have to wait longer for their procedures, but don't stress about the out of pocket expense as much. Go Canada!! :) I grew up on the border and have always had a soft spot for our neighbors to the north. The American bloggers on the other hand, many of whom are in considerable pain, have to fight for their right to a surgery that cures a condition and should be classified as a birth defect, all because it changes the appearance of the patient.

If you needed knee surgery because your knee was in pain, every time you took a step, all you would need is an MRI and a referral, but to get your jaw fixed you have to be ready to go into battle. It just really pisses me off.

Another Picture

2009-04-24T11:03:00.001-07:00

Here is another picture where you can see my jawline a little bit better. Before, I avoided cameras so much! Now, I don't really care if I see one.

Almost 7 months post-op

2009-04-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am almost 7 months out. I get my braces off June 15th. Shoulda, coulda, woulda been in May, but one of the Orthos in the practice went on maternity leave. It's all good though. I still have some noise, and I do have stiffness on the left which is limiting my mobility and hurts a bit when I chew. I should be doing the exercises to loosen it up, but really, I am not even going to worry about that until after these things are off. I have had rubberbands for the last month, and though they are not too obtrusive, I'm not a huge fan of their presence. I am planning on getting a crazy looking retainer with glitter if I have my way. Here is a picture of me taken today. It's just a picture. I feel like I look normal, or I should say, my new look is now my normal look, and I don't think about my "before" too much anymore.

As you can see, I have "bulging eyes", which is a separate issue due to thyroid eye disease. I hope to have surgery to correct that in June or July.

I feel so much more confident now, and I am so glad that I did this!

Another Surgery

2009-03-08T18:15:00.000-07:00

So, now that I have my jaw fixed I am heading down the road to another surgery. You may have noticed that in the photos I have protruding eyes. This is caused by Graves Disease which is an autoimmune disorder. My Doctors are now doing all of the preoperative work for Orbital Decompression, a surgery that will increase the size of my eye sockets and let my eyes sit back in my head where they go. Luckily, I think the healing time for this surgery is 2 days. I'll be glad to be DONE with procedures for a while.

Three Months

2009-02-15T08:55:00.000-08:00

So, they don't really have any adjustments left to make on my teeth, but I have to keep the braces on for 6 months post op. They should come off in April or May! I CAN"T WAIT!

I don't know how I ever wore braces so easily the first time around. Braces as an adult sucks. You get used to it because you have to, but once the count down is on the waiting just eats you alive.

Vera Wang Pajamas!!!

2009-02-06T19:35:00.000-08:00

Because I have an eye disease I get very self conscious in pictures. As you can see, my eyes bulge out. Having a chin now helps with that feeling of "don't look at me". Anyway, I like this angle because it hides the bags under my eyes and makes my eyes look a little less protrusive.

I am constantly looking a new pictures of myself just to get used to what I look like. How should I smile now? Does my lip still look a little wonky? (I still have some lingering numbness which is not a bother at all, but can make for a funky smile.)

I don't know if anyone else thinks about these things. I know a lot of people get the surgery for medical reasons. My was to prevent some future medical issues, but also because I WANTED it. I wanted to have a chin and get rid of my huge overbite. Oh, and I am wearing my Vera Wang PJs in this pic. LOVE THEM!

It is weird to have to relearn what you look like.

Anyway, here is another picture. Getting sick of these things yet?

What I have learned...

2009-02-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

From the front I don't look like I thought I would post-surgery, but I like it just the same.

From the side I am thrilled that I don't think about it anymore. People seeing my profile does not even cross my mind.

I can't stop touching my chin. 4 months out and I can't stop touching my chin. I just can't believe it is where it is.

Eating might never be the same. I chewed one way for 31 years and now I have to chew like a person whose molars line up. I thought it would be easier, and become second nature in no time flat. That has not happened yet. Also, I can't move my jaw forward at all so grasping things between my front teeth to open them or something is not possible.

Thankfully, scissors were invented a long time ago.

Shredded Lettuce

2009-02-04T17:19:00.001-08:00

I love salad, and I can chew shredded lettuce, but the regular kind is a huge pain the ass! Lettuce is for chumps!

Pain

2009-01-31T15:50:00.000-08:00

So, I noticed that when I chew I have pain on the left side. It is still a little tender there and feels like it might be muscular. It is more annoying than painful though, and only when I chew, but it is a little tender to the touch. I might mention it at my next appointment for somewhere, but I am still only a few months out so I'm kind of just dealing with it.

I can open about two and a half fingers consistently. I get a lot of noise in my jaw when I open and close and I suspect over time I will get most of my mobility back. I'll keep working on it!

I am due to get these fffing things off of my teeth in May and I can't wait to look in the mirror and be DONE! I'm looking forward to getting a sparkly retainer! I'm thinking aqua. I hope they have aqua!

If there is any swelling left...

2009-01-11T19:12:00.001-08:00

I can't see it. 3 months out...

Functionality

2009-01-11T19:04:00.000-08:00

So to answer some questions:

Does it feel normal yet?
Nope. Not yet. But only when I chew. I can't open my mouth as wide as I could pre surgery which I think will get better with time. It seems to be getting better with time. I have a lot of noise when I chew, but each day my range of motion gets better and better. When I am not chewing it does feel normal. I can't stand to smile with my mouth open yet. My smile is cockeyed right now but I think that will get better when the braces come off and when all the feeling returns. I have two small spots that are still a little numb. Very small...so much so that I don't really even notice them except for when I want to smile.

Would I do it again?
Hell yes! I would do it again in a heartbeat. I no longer spend all of my time thinking about my profile and that is a great feeling.

Was I scared shitless?
I was. Scared out of my mind. My heartrate was 114 until they put the drugs in me. I was fine though. The worst part was getting nauseated from the anethesia. The pain was not too bad, and the first few weeks without food were fine because I was so sore and swollen, I really didn't care. It is scary. Someone is cutting your mouth apart, but it truly was not that bad. My experience was a good one and not as bad as I thought it would be.

Been a While

2009-01-08T16:00:00.000-08:00

So, it has been about 3 months since my surgery. Chewing is finally starting to get easier. Still a chore and my mouth does not open like it used to yet. The pain in the joint with chewing is really starting to go down and I have very little numbness and tenderness now. I am still getting use to the way I look. Trying to find a new good smile and all. Overall things are healing nicely. I don't see me biting into any carrots in the near future, but I am healing up!

Chewing is still a bit odd. There are times when I can't figure out if my chewing issues come from getting used to my new bite, or not having the range of motion in opening my jaw yet.

Best of luck to everyone else who is healing out there!

2008-12-04T14:16:00.000-08:00

Am I vain for posting so many pics? I hope not. I remember that before my surgery all I wanted to see was before and afters, and truth be told, I can't stop looking at myself. Not because I think I am stunning, but just because I look so....different. Anyway, for those who are addicted to before and after photos, here are some more.

Pictures

2008-12-01T19:36:00.001-08:00

Here I am about 2 months after surgery. Tomorrow will be two months to the day of when I went under the knife, or drill, or saw (take your pick). I have one before picture at the bottom of the page if you dare. My jaw it still stiff. It hurts to sneeze and yawn, and chewing is still a chore. I have a little pain where my jaw was cut (I only had bottom surgery and genio), but the jaw joints are the source of most pain. I totally think it was worth it though. I am much more comfortable with myself, and not having an overbite is great.

I will get rubberbands from the ortho on the 9th to bring my molars into place a little more. I now get to count down to getting the braces off and I suspect that will happen in March, April, or May.

I should use moist heat more than I am...I do find it helps. I still have swelling on the left, but it's mostly something I can feel and not something that is as visible as it is "feelable".

I'm taking it slow with eating, and when I do too much too fast...I can feel it. All i all though, I feel I am healing very well and am right on track. I had a very substantial advancement, so things are good for now!

I have a party to go to for work, and that ten pounds that fell off (and mostly stayed off) is paying off in my dress. : ) Silver Lining.

Chewing

2008-11-22T14:36:00.001-08:00

Just because you are allowed to chew, doesn't mean you can. It is hard ad it hurts a bit. I'm sticking with it though because I really like food.

Last OS Follow Up

2008-11-12T19:49:00.000-08:00

I had my last follow up with the oral surgeon today. As luck would have it my LAST stitch fell out last night! YES! I did not want him tugging on that. I have no more lugs, a new light wire on my upper teeth, turquoise rubber bands on the bottom, and I can chew my food in two days!

The healing went by quickly. The first three weeks I did not want food too much, so not being able to have it was OK. Then, if I drank enough to stay ahead of the hunger, it never got too bad. Now I am soooo ready to eat, and really can't wait to have simple things like cheerios and french fries. My daughter asks everyday "Mommy, can you chew yet?" It's really sweet.

Overall this experience so far has been a lot better than I expected. Knowing others were going through it at the same time has been a big help.

I can't wait to tell y'all what I have for breakfast on Friday.

Progress

2008-11-09T16:04:00.000-08:00

So far I have lost about 6 pounds from my normal weight:
122 to 116. This is good...too much weight loss would have landed me back in the hospital. At least, that was the threat.

I can wear my cute GAP jeans that I have been dying to wear, but were a little too tight.

I can swallow things whole that I never dreamed of eating without chewing.

I can see that most of the swelling has gone down (except for a little on the left and inside my mouth on the right cheek).

I am starting to feel normal.

I can open my mouth two fingers wide.

I am 4 days shy of the six week mark.

It has gone by faster than I thought. I thought about food less than I thought I would. It hasn't been too bad and I feel really lucky that things have gone this well so far. I can't wait to get these lugs off on Tuesday!

ARTICLE

2008-11-09T16:01:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone! I am looking for people willing to share their experiences with orthognathic surgery, particulary with the insurance companies. My surgery was totally covered by my insurance due to the military doctors' need to stay current on techniques, but I have found that so many others are met with resistance. Regardless of the reason that you sought treatment I would love to ask you about your experience. If you are interested, please leave a comment below.

Countdown to Chewing

2008-11-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

Almost able to chew. I have my last follow up with the OS on Wednesday. Of course, it is just my luck that I am getting new wires at the OD the day before. My six week mark is Thursday and I think the first thing I want to eat is bread dipped in Olive Oil and some yummy pasta!

I posted some new pics in the sidebar on the right of where my profile stands right now. I am liking it. Still a little self-conscious about my bulging eyes, but I have thyroid eye disease, so there isn't much I can do about that.

I am really please with my profile at this point. I still have some swelling, bruising, and soreness on the left, but I figure that will go away in time. I will post again after I have my "first supper".

Moist, Hot Heat

2008-10-30T14:27:00.001-07:00

So...today is the four week mark. No more rubber bands...no more splint! I am lined up well (I will attribute this to my diligence in wearing those evil little bands) and go back in two weeks for my last follow up. Then, if all goes well, my doctor will tell me that I can chew! There are so many things I want to eat it is ridiculous! I think about chewable food all the time. It was so nice to brush my teeth!

I was a little more swollen this morning, but I'm ok with that. I know it will go down. I am opening well and I think that with practice and moist, hot heat I will get a good range of motion back.

If you think positively, even when you are bitching and moaning, if you think that you will heal well, I think it really helps!

The Up and Downs

2008-10-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

I have not posted a new picture in a while because nothing in the way I look has really changed since the last one I posted. The swelling is about the same...still waiting for that to go down. I am still having some pain. I was really sore today. I chalk this up to the fact that I am back at work, talking and working and just tiring myself out. I am eating a lot more these days which is nice. It's still a bit of a chore to undertake, so that may be contributing to the soreness as well. My stitches are really starting to fall out now, and there are big strings all over my mouth. I am sure my OS will cut them when I go back on Wednesday. As of today (if you count the day of surgery) I am 25 days out. It has gone by quickly and I really can't believe it. I am so happy with my profile. I really can't see what I look like head on yet as the swelling is much more obvious from that position. I know that I will be wearing new haircuts, hiding my chin less, and have much more confidence in my appearance. Unlike most of the people out there, my motivation for the surgery was much more about appearance than function. I don't care if people look at me from the side anymore, which is something that I used to expend great amounts of energy on in the past to avoid. I know I still have a long way to go in the healing process, and that I have a few more months (6?) of braces left and metal in my face for the rest of my life, but I truly think that it was worth it all: Pain, waiting, discomfort, apprehension, sacrifice...it was worth it. I feel like me now, and it's a good feeling!

When I Say Surgery You Say Hungry...Surgery...

2008-10-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

Those who have had the surery already feel my pain, and those who have not soon will. The first week or so, I was not struggling to not eat. My mouth hurt, did not open very far, and I really did not have any desire to even entertain the notion of solids. I just rocked the CIB (Carnation Instant Breakfast) for those in the know and that worked just fine. Now that I can open my mouth and am feeling better, but can't eat, I am having to come up with creative ways to fulfill that food desire. I thought I would post some of my concoctions here.

My OS said anything that I can eat without chewing is fair game. I have found that eating with a plastic children's zoo pals fork is the easiest thing to do. The spoos are good too, but the forks fit better in my mouth.

I don't like to eat things in a state other than their intended texture. I'm just weird that way. I did take some refried beans and thin them out with salsa...put some cheese in and got it good and melted stirred it all up and ate it very very slowly, careful not to have any chunks and just swallow it whole.

I also made a well cooked baked potato, mashed it all up with some sourcream, salsa, and cheese and ate that. I'm eating it right now actually. It's really good. I put very small bites in my mouth at a time to avoid the reflex to try and chew.

These are two things that I find to be satisfying, flavorful, not weird in texture, and that I have no problem eating without chewing. Of course, if you hurt yourself eating any of these concoctions, it's not my fault! : )

Back in the Saddle...I Mean Exam Chair

2008-10-23T14:49:00.000-07:00

So, today I went back to the OS due to an increase in swelling and numbness. He said everything still looks good, and that my xray they lost Tuesday (and found) looks good. He is putting me on antibiotics to be proactive because if there is an infection it could hamper the bone's ability to heal. Other than that the visit was uneventful.

I have the urge to try to eat at Jason's Deli tonight. They have baked potatoes which I think I could manage and vegetarian french onion soup, which, without the cheese melted on top should go down smoothly. We'll see what the husband's take on this plan is after he gets home. Since I am starting to feel a little better I have a huge urge to eat! I want food! Three weeks left on the no-chew diet. It is amazing the things that you can swallow whole when the desire is there.

Last night was a bit rough because I was feeling a little under the weather. I was torn between taking vicodin or tylenol PM to help me sleep. I went with the tylenol which did not help at all. Everyone I know raves about that stuff, but it had little to no effect on me. Whatever!

Hump Day

2008-10-22T14:49:00.001-07:00

Argh! Today was rough. Today I was tired and the left side of my face went numb and started to swell. WTF!I sent my Dr. an email to see if this is even remotely normal. The days still seem long, though with the rubberbands off they are so much more manageable. I can get my thumb in my mouth which seems like a lot. It feels like it is open so far, but really it's not. I am working on that though. The weird sensation is still there in my chin, and still driving me nuts. It feels like wearing a T-Shirt on a sunburn, but inside my chin.

The stitches are making their way out. This is good news as they looked gross and I was convinced that their was no way my mouth was going to heal. It seems to be doing ok though. I am hoping that the increase in pain and swelling is not an infection. The Dr. pressed on my incisions the other day and no puss came out. I am hoping that it is just your standard tenderness. My husband says I am sleeping on that side of my head, so maybe that has something to do with it.

Either way, I think I will be taking a Tylenol PM tonight and hitting the hay early!

Hooray for Cottage Cheese

2008-10-21T15:11:00.000-07:00

So, I can eat anything that does not require chewing between my teeth. That means that I am going to throw down with several things that I can swallow almost whole! It will still be hard with the splint in, but dammit! I'm gonna try! Also, I only have to wear elastics at night right now! Hell yeah!

First Day Back in the Saddle

2008-10-20T15:43:00.001-07:00

SO I got dressed today (in a very Ellen Degeneres outfit), and headed back to work. It kinda sucked. The pain wasn't bad, but I was very tired and hungry. Despite my planning I did not have all of the things that I wished I had had with me at my desk. I was unable to brush my teeth and I got insanely hungry in the afternoon and really didn't have anything to eat.

My OS has not emailed me back yet, but I go to see him tomorrow and I am hoping that I get lighter rubberbands, the go ahead for cottage cheese, and the note that I am supposed to have for my work saying that I am healthy enough to come back.

The days are getting shorter and cooler, and I like it. I just wish my chin didn't feel so strange because I am a huge fan of the turtleneck. Every time something touches my chin it kind of hurts in this irritating way. Almost like someone touching a sunburn.

Anyway, I am nearly three weeks out and I can't believe it. As much as I miss eating and complain about the pain, the time is going by alright. It's hard to believe I will ever be able to open my mouth all the way again, but I am sure that I will. These rubber bands seem to make my TMJ feel worse. Isn't it ironic that the package they come in says "Bummer" on it?

To the left, to the left...

2008-10-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

The left side is more sore and more swollen than the right. I am not sure if this is just because maybe I slept on it, so from the puking, or just because. I did have a different surgeon working on each side of my face, and I think the guy on the right (my OS) is a kinder, gentler OS. The guy that did the left is kinda cute though. : )

I took another 2 hour nap today even though I really did not want to, nor did I mean to, it just sort of happened. I have decided that if I can't sleep well tonight I might try some Tylenol PM tomorrow (or even nyquil). I get nervous about taking things because of my thyroid condition. I don't metabolize things at the same rate that other people do so I never know when something is going to kick in or how long it will take to run its course.

Well, wish me luck for work tomorrow. I hope it goes well. I hope I remember how to do my job! I think they'll take it easy on me.

Work

2008-10-19T06:11:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow. There are so many things I will need to get ready just to make it through a day: salt, cups, hemostats, rubber bands, liquid foods, soy milk, instant breakfast, Vaseline. I takes a lot of work just to ingest something and clean afterward.

On Tuesday I am supposed to get lighter rubber bands. Perhaps that will help with being able to drink something without having to take the bands off. I am sure the splint is part of that problem too. Either way, I am going to burn a lot of time just trying to drink my tea and clean my teeth.

And people are going to come to talk to me and I can't talk. I just can't believe it's time to go back already.

Healing

2008-10-18T16:28:00.000-07:00

So, it has been roughly 16 days since the surgery (I am still uncertain as to whether or not you count the day of). I sent my OS an email yesterday asking him if I can eat cottage cheese. I am so desperate for soft food. I think he will say yes to the cottage cheese so lets keep our fingers crossed. I am sure it will get lodged in my splint though and I really don't want any dairy getting funky up there.

I go back to the OS on Tuesday and I think he will put me in lighter elastics. I am under the impression that I have one more week in the splint. I am not sure how I feel about that. I do like it because it keeps me from grinding my teeth, but I think I would feel much better with it out. All in all it really doesn't bother me that much!

I have been reading a lot of other blogs and people are talking about how terrified they were of the anesthesia. I have to add, that I have had anesthesia before and I was still petrified. My surgery was 4 hours which in itself is scary. I also have a tendency to get VERY sick from anesthesia (as in puking) which was a huge concern of mine as well. I did get sick, but I was so doped up that it did not bother me to badly, it just disrupted my rest.

When I woke up immediately after surgery I felt FANTASTIC. Apparently that was the dilaudid that did that. When the narcotics wore off I was feeling less than stellar. They gave me liquid percoset which tasted atrocious and was puked up. I also ate one crushed Motrin which is something I won't do again (I have sensitive taste buds). I managed to swallow the antibiotic so I just when out an bought small Motrin (instead of the 800 mg they set me home with) and took 4 at a time. It worked fine. I requested vicodin instead of percoset because I took that before when I broke my knee and it worked well for me with little side effects. I would swallow one at bedtime and use a phenergan suppository and that seemed to make my life much easier. Now I just pop some motrin in the morning and a few at bedtime to dull the pain and keep the swelling at bay. It seems to work well.

I still have a lot of swelling on the left side, and some on the right. My chin is still numb and throbs with the most irritating sensation, and te left side of my mouth does not smile yet, but I have a lot of feeling. At my first follow up, five days post-op my Doctor was blown away at how much feeling I had in my lip. I have had an inflamed nerve there (from an old piercing) which just looked like a tag of scar tissue. I had asked him to cut it off and he ended up taking out this huge chunk and having it biopsied. Well, he gave me a good deep stitch there and when I went for the follow up I could feel everything! He was poking around and I kept trying to tell him he was hurting me, but I think he was in denial because I should not have had feeling yet.

Anyway, that is a little disjointed random post regarding my experience with surgery. More to come!

Is it Day 14 or 15?

2008-10-17T07:01:00.000-07:00

So I had my surgery two weeks ago yesterday. Do you count the day of the surgery as the first day or not. My husband and I have been debating this. I had my surgery at 730 in the morning, so I kind of think it counts a little. Let's call today Day 14.5.

A lot of the feeling is coming back into my lip, but my chin is still driving me nuts. I still have good nights and bad nights with the sleeping, but the majority of the pain in my joints is gone. I am trying to be extremely diligent about oral hygiene. I don't want anything to get messed up. I brush with a children's toothbrush because it fits better in my mouth right now. I am able to open a little over one finger though and I am working on increasing that each time I take my rubber bands off to eat.

A Political Post

2008-10-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

I think the fact that thee will be a record turn-out of voters this year is a testament to what a poor job Bush has done. People don't want to let another four years go by wishing that they had taken the time to vote.

Two Weeks Ago Today

2008-10-16T09:03:00.001-07:00

Two weeks ago today and right about at this time, I was waking up from my jaw surgery. For a very brief period of time, I remember feeling amazing (probably the opiods) and then I spent the next 4 days feeling like shit. Seems like a small price to pay. I am pretty happy with my new profile though I am anxiously awaiting the full effect when the swelling goes down.

Only four more weeks until food!

Missing Chewing

2008-10-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

So, so far I haven't missed food too much. I mean, I think about it a lot, but I expected that I would be so terribly tortured wanting to eat solid food. I guess the pain and tightness is a natural deterrent to this.

Today, against my better judgement, I blenderized something. It was lentil soup and it looked like shit. Like brown runny poo. I couldn't get past that. I took two bites and thought I was going to barf, and I chucked it down the disposal and opted for some tomato soup which in someway now seemed tainted. This is the first day wen I really missed food, real food.

I also realized today that I will never look the same again. That's not a bad thing, but as the swelling goes down I look in the mirror and I see me, but it does not quite look like me. That will take some getting used to, but I am looking forward to that part. I still want to wear the hat. My chin is still sticky (I wonder if this stuff will ever go away) and when my hair touched my chin it sets off this irritating tingle all through my chin, which is really hard to get rid of.

The numbness is not really numb. I do have a few spots that I can't feel at all, but most spots have this irritating tingle that seems to pulse with my pulse. It is a little like chewing on metal.

Go Me!

2008-10-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

I woke up cranky, but actually feel pretty good today. I went to Target and Barnes and Noble, and then to the orthodontist. He was amazed at how decreased my swelling is for 13 days out. I am too considering how sick I got; I would have guesses the puking would aggravate all of that. He took pictures of me to show to future patients. I am still sporting the hat and would have liked to have done my hair had I known I was competing in the Star Search spokesmodel competition. My chin is still sticky so I am going to rock the hat until that goes away.

Posted to the side are the new pics from today. It is time for me to go eat more soup and drink some carnation instant breakfast.

ALSO, I AM WORKING ON AN ARTICLE ON ORTHOGNATHIC SURGERY. IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS FOR ME, PLEASE CONTACT ME. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!

I know, I know

2008-10-13T18:46:00.000-07:00

I know I have to get some real BEFORE pics up here, but I don't keep those around. I did have my husband take one and as soon as I get it, I will post it for all the world to see.

Insurance, Jobs, and Cars

2008-10-13T18:26:00.001-07:00

I have noticed on a lot of the other blogs, people have posted all about their insurance woes. I am lucky enough to have had my surgery at a military facility free of charge. I did not pay a dime, and right now, compared to all of the other stories, that seems like it was a good thing.

i did have to pay out of pocket for my orthodontics however, and that was $5000. Not a shabby chunk of change when you consider all of the other things in life that need to be bought and paid for. At this point, 12 days out, I feel it was worth it.

I am a little apprehensive about returning to work next week. I thought I would be able to talk a little bit, but I can't talk at all. This is going to be a bit of a burden on me and my fellow co-workers. Assuming that I am healing well (and this is what I hope to hear at tomorrow's visit), this may or may not be an issue. If there are any complications I will need to call my ST disability provider and get the ball rolling to extend my claim.

I did drive the car today for the first time since the operation. It was a little tricky because my neck it so bruised it was pretty painful to turn around, but I managed. When I picked my kid up from school she announced all the details of my surgery to her teacher. She's five so it was quite scientific...I am sure you can imagine.
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I just keep thinking that in the end I will have a healthier jaw, better tooth alignment, and I will no longer be preoccupied by the one thing that permeated my thoughts on a daily basis. I am sure I will still have things to be self-conscious about, and perhaps I won't look exactly how I envisioned, but I will know that I did everything I could to take care of an unfortunate situation, and that makes me feel good.

I am also surprised as HOW MANY people get this surgery. I did not realize it was such a common thing, and there is something comforting in knowing that! So, in support of my fellow liquid dieters I present

A List of What I Ate Today:
Cup a Soup
Juice
A Smoothie from Tropical Smoothie
A Chocolate and Peanut Butter Smoothie from home
A little Vitamin Water
And I am about to have some more smoothie before bed.

I am trying really hard to keep my calories and weight up.

Buffy, and Weird Pains

2008-10-13T16:09:00.001-07:00

I bought two seasons of Buffy today to help me pass the time (and because I wanted them). The sensation is coming back and it feels weird. I can totally feel where I was advanced (I think), and it tinges here and there, along with some muscle spasms. I go to the OS tomorrow for a follow-up, so we'll see what he says.

(Oh no! Buffy just lost consciousness!)

In the meantime, here's a new picture from today. I can't stop analyzing the way I look, even with the swelling I am fascinated.

Day 11

2008-10-13T07:56:00.000-07:00

Today I am a bit sore and happy to be "convalescing" on the couch. My biggest complaint is that sleeping is just a nuisance. I hope that I can sleep better once I get back to work. Also, as the feeling comes back I am a little sore. Not pain, just soreness. There is also a certain grit in my mouth which I think is from the stitches dissolving and it is kind of odd.

Personally, my husband is doing a good job of taking care of me, except that he questions what I want when I want it. I have been waiting for a coffee and a smoothie all morning long, but he keeps saying "well let's do this and then we can do this" without realizing that I have to do things a certain way for a certain reason and there is a method to what I need when. Add to that the difficulty communicating and it can be very frustrating.

I also need to do some work in my daughter's room today and fold laundry. I am having a pity party today.

Not Much New

2008-10-12T15:53:00.000-07:00

I removed the bandage from my chin today and my chin is covered in glue. It's gross and my hair keeps getting caught in it, but really, it's a small price to pay. I am starting to get some feeling back, so my jaw is a little sore today, but nothing big, and once I fell asleep last night, I actually slept for a good while. I go to the Doctor on Tuesday and I am hoping that he will take the splint out then (I got a splint because I grind my teeth). I actually like the splint somewhat, but it makes it hard to eat with the rubberbands on.

Three posts in one day I know, right?

2008-10-11T08:01:00.001-07:00

Ok, so the photo below was taken yesterday. The post below the pic lists my immediate post-surgical experience. But what about the personal part of that? Well, here goes.

I am not going to lie. It's hard. I am trying to keep a very positive outlook, but I can't read to my daughter or talk with her which is hard. My husband has been a huge help, but my house looks like a war zone. Picking up is not really his strong point.

From a pain standpoint, I only really hurt in the morning and at the end of the day. I blame most of this on the rubberbands that are pulling my jaw over to the side. I am hoping that next week I will be put on lighter rubberbands. The pain is minimal and the numbness is the real irritating thing. It is not so much numbness as it is tingling. I have feeling in my lip already though which the Dr. is amazed by this considering how much he had to move my nerve around in order not to damage it.

I do have several moments of self pity a day and I have found that the one thing that cures this is watching Eight is Enough. This makes no sense, I know, but it seems to work. I watched it a lot while I was still taking the vicodin so I think it has some kind of hypnotic narcotic association.

On an even more personal note, I had an almost real bowel movement today. I have not had gas or had to poo (amazing for a vegetarian) hardly at all since the surgery. I am guessing this is normal. I don't feel stopped up or anything so I am just going to "go" with it.

Lastly, there is the issue of the diet. I am thin and I lose weight quickly. The Dr. wants me to loose no more than 7 or 8 pounds. This is going to be hard because I am one of those skinny people who can eat a lot and not gain weight. I put on a few pounds before the surgery, but then lost a few of those from anxiety (unecessary anxiety btw). So far I have lost about 6 pounds or so since the surgery and about 10 fro the weight that I put on. I am now about 1.5 less than my typical weight.

This is what I eat:

Carnation Instant Breakfast mixed with Very Vanilla Soy Milk
Vitamin Water
Gatorade
V8 Fruit Fusions
Chicken cup-a-soup (this is not vegetarian I know, and I don't plan to continue it once my diet is changed).
Also, REALLY WATERY instant mashed potatoes can help you feel full

I am trying not to have too many empty calories (like Gatorade) and consume more instant breakfast and V8 than anything else. I am not really into blending foods up to a consistency that is not their normal state. I tried it with baked beans and it was grodie. I do plan to have a huge Chipotle burrito as soon as the Dr. gives me the OK.

I am a bit concerned about letting the orthodontist get back in my mouth, but I am sure as I heal, that fear will pass.

That's all for now!

Yesterday: 8 days post-op

2008-10-11T07:58:00.000-07:00

9 days post-op

2008-10-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

So, this is my ninth day post-op. My surgery was October 2nd and it seems like eons ago. I was a nervous wreck before hand, but the last thing I remember is them pumping the Versed and me going to lala land. The surgery went well. Because my husband works at the hospital where my surgery was, murphy's law dictates that there be some kind of complication. For me, that involved my nerve running RIGHT ON the jawline where they needed to work...so they really took their time. I had an advancement of 1+cm on the lower jaw and a 4mm advancement of the chin. The drugs that I know I was given are as follows (I can't guarantee these are spelled correctly, I'm not at work):

In the Hospital-
Versed before surgery to relax (love that stuff)
Decadron (steroid for swelling, if they don't push it slow it makes your groin burn!)
Dilaudid for pain
Zofran for nauseau

At Home-
Phenergan for nausea (makes you drowsy too which is a good thing)
Motrin for swelling
Vicodin for take home pain (really helps you sleep)
Clindomycin as a prophylactic antibiotic
Ambien for sleeping (after I stopped taking the vicodin) I had a VERY BAD REACTION to this. Threw up for 24 hours.

My swelling is starting to go down and I can see some of the results. I still have a bandage on my chin to prevent sagging of the muscle in my chin. I can take it off at anytime now, and I think that will be tomorrow.

My Face

2008-09-21T17:33:00.000-07:00

I am having my jaw reconstructed. Who knows what I'll look like in two weeks?