Moist, Hot Heat

So...today is the four week mark. No more rubber bands...no more splint! I am lined up well (I will attribute this to my diligence in wearing those evil little bands) and go back in two weeks for my last follow up. Then, if all goes well, my doctor will tell me that I can chew! There are so many things I want to eat it is ridiculous! I think about chewable food all the time. It was so nice to brush my teeth!

I was a little more swollen this morning, but I'm ok with that. I know it will go down. I am opening well and I think that with practice and moist, hot heat I will get a good range of motion back.

If you think positively, even when you are bitching and moaning, if you think that you will heal well, I think it really helps!

The Up and Downs

I have not posted a new picture in a while because nothing in the way I look has really changed since the last one I posted. The swelling is about the same...still waiting for that to go down. I am still having some pain. I was really sore today. I chalk this up to the fact that I am back at work, talking and working and just tiring myself out. I am eating a lot more these days which is nice. It's still a bit of a chore to undertake, so that may be contributing to the soreness as well. My stitches are really starting to fall out now, and there are big strings all over my mouth. I am sure my OS will cut them when I go back on Wednesday. As of today (if you count the day of surgery) I am 25 days out. It has gone by quickly and I really can't believe it. I am so happy with my profile. I really can't see what I look like head on yet as the swelling is much more obvious from that position. I know that I will be wearing new haircuts, hiding my chin less, and have much more confidence in my appearance. Unlike most of the people out there, my motivation for the surgery was much more about appearance than function. I don't care if people look at me from the side anymore, which is something that I used to expend great amounts of energy on in the past to avoid. I know I still have a long way to go in the healing process, and that I have a few more months (6?) of braces left and metal in my face for the rest of my life, but I truly think that it was worth it all: Pain, waiting, discomfort, apprehension, sacrifice...it was worth it. I feel like me now, and it's a good feeling!

When I Say Surgery You Say Hungry...Surgery...

Those who have had the surery already feel my pain, and those who have not soon will. The first week or so, I was not struggling to not eat. My mouth hurt, did not open very far, and I really did not have any desire to even entertain the notion of solids. I just rocked the CIB (Carnation Instant Breakfast) for those in the know and that worked just fine. Now that I can open my mouth and am feeling better, but can't eat, I am having to come up with creative ways to fulfill that food desire. I thought I would post some of my concoctions here.

My OS said anything that I can eat without chewing is fair game. I have found that eating with a plastic children's zoo pals fork is the easiest thing to do. The spoos are good too, but the forks fit better in my mouth.

I don't like to eat things in a state other than their intended texture. I'm just weird that way. I did take some refried beans and thin them out with salsa...put some cheese in and got it good and melted stirred it all up and ate it very very slowly, careful not to have any chunks and just swallow it whole.

I also made a well cooked baked potato, mashed it all up with some sourcream, salsa, and cheese and ate that. I'm eating it right now actually. It's really good. I put very small bites in my mouth at a time to avoid the reflex to try and chew.

These are two things that I find to be satisfying, flavorful, not weird in texture, and that I have no problem eating without chewing. Of course, if you hurt yourself eating any of these concoctions, it's not my fault! : )

Back in the Saddle...I Mean Exam Chair

So, today I went back to the OS due to an increase in swelling and numbness. He said everything still looks good, and that my xray they lost Tuesday (and found) looks good. He is putting me on antibiotics to be proactive because if there is an infection it could hamper the bone's ability to heal. Other than that the visit was uneventful.

I have the urge to try to eat at Jason's Deli tonight. They have baked potatoes which I think I could manage and vegetarian french onion soup, which, without the cheese melted on top should go down smoothly. We'll see what the husband's take on this plan is after he gets home. Since I am starting to feel a little better I have a huge urge to eat! I want food! Three weeks left on the no-chew diet. It is amazing the things that you can swallow whole when the desire is there.

Last night was a bit rough because I was feeling a little under the weather. I was torn between taking vicodin or tylenol PM to help me sleep. I went with the tylenol which did not help at all. Everyone I know raves about that stuff, but it had little to no effect on me. Whatever!

Hump Day

Argh! Today was rough. Today I was tired and the left side of my face went numb and started to swell. WTF!I sent my Dr. an email to see if this is even remotely normal. The days still seem long, though with the rubberbands off they are so much more manageable. I can get my thumb in my mouth which seems like a lot. It feels like it is open so far, but really it's not. I am working on that though. The weird sensation is still there in my chin, and still driving me nuts. It feels like wearing a T-Shirt on a sunburn, but inside my chin.

The stitches are making their way out. This is good news as they looked gross and I was convinced that their was no way my mouth was going to heal. It seems to be doing ok though. I am hoping that the increase in pain and swelling is not an infection. The Dr. pressed on my incisions the other day and no puss came out. I am hoping that it is just your standard tenderness. My husband says I am sleeping on that side of my head, so maybe that has something to do with it.

Either way, I think I will be taking a Tylenol PM tonight and hitting the hay early!

Hooray for Cottage Cheese

So, I can eat anything that does not require chewing between my teeth. That means that I am going to throw down with several things that I can swallow almost whole! It will still be hard with the splint in, but dammit! I'm gonna try! Also, I only have to wear elastics at night right now! Hell yeah!

First Day Back in the Saddle

SO I got dressed today (in a very Ellen Degeneres outfit), and headed back to work. It kinda sucked. The pain wasn't bad, but I was very tired and hungry. Despite my planning I did not have all of the things that I wished I had had with me at my desk. I was unable to brush my teeth and I got insanely hungry in the afternoon and really didn't have anything to eat.

My OS has not emailed me back yet, but I go to see him tomorrow and I am hoping that I get lighter rubberbands, the go ahead for cottage cheese, and the note that I am supposed to have for my work saying that I am healthy enough to come back.

The days are getting shorter and cooler, and I like it. I just wish my chin didn't feel so strange because I am a huge fan of the turtleneck. Every time something touches my chin it kind of hurts in this irritating way. Almost like someone touching a sunburn.

Anyway, I am nearly three weeks out and I can't believe it. As much as I miss eating and complain about the pain, the time is going by alright. It's hard to believe I will ever be able to open my mouth all the way again, but I am sure that I will. These rubber bands seem to make my TMJ feel worse. Isn't it ironic that the package they come in says "Bummer" on it?

To the left, to the left...

The left side is more sore and more swollen than the right. I am not sure if this is just because maybe I slept on it, so from the puking, or just because. I did have a different surgeon working on each side of my face, and I think the guy on the right (my OS) is a kinder, gentler OS. The guy that did the left is kinda cute though. : )

I took another 2 hour nap today even though I really did not want to, nor did I mean to, it just sort of happened. I have decided that if I can't sleep well tonight I might try some Tylenol PM tomorrow (or even nyquil). I get nervous about taking things because of my thyroid condition. I don't metabolize things at the same rate that other people do so I never know when something is going to kick in or how long it will take to run its course.

Well, wish me luck for work tomorrow. I hope it goes well. I hope I remember how to do my job! I think they'll take it easy on me.

Work

I can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow. There are so many things I will need to get ready just to make it through a day: salt, cups, hemostats, rubber bands, liquid foods, soy milk, instant breakfast, Vaseline. I takes a lot of work just to ingest something and clean afterward.

On Tuesday I am supposed to get lighter rubber bands. Perhaps that will help with being able to drink something without having to take the bands off. I am sure the splint is part of that problem too. Either way, I am going to burn a lot of time just trying to drink my tea and clean my teeth.

And people are going to come to talk to me and I can't talk. I just can't believe it's time to go back already.

Healing

So, it has been roughly 16 days since the surgery (I am still uncertain as to whether or not you count the day of). I sent my OS an email yesterday asking him if I can eat cottage cheese. I am so desperate for soft food. I think he will say yes to the cottage cheese so lets keep our fingers crossed. I am sure it will get lodged in my splint though and I really don't want any dairy getting funky up there.

I go back to the OS on Tuesday and I think he will put me in lighter elastics. I am under the impression that I have one more week in the splint. I am not sure how I feel about that. I do like it because it keeps me from grinding my teeth, but I think I would feel much better with it out. All in all it really doesn't bother me that much!

I have been reading a lot of other blogs and people are talking about how terrified they were of the anesthesia. I have to add, that I have had anesthesia before and I was still petrified. My surgery was 4 hours which in itself is scary. I also have a tendency to get VERY sick from anesthesia (as in puking) which was a huge concern of mine as well. I did get sick, but I was so doped up that it did not bother me to badly, it just disrupted my rest.

When I woke up immediately after surgery I felt FANTASTIC. Apparently that was the dilaudid that did that. When the narcotics wore off I was feeling less than stellar. They gave me liquid percoset which tasted atrocious and was puked up. I also ate one crushed Motrin which is something I won't do again (I have sensitive taste buds). I managed to swallow the antibiotic so I just when out an bought small Motrin (instead of the 800 mg they set me home with) and took 4 at a time. It worked fine. I requested vicodin instead of percoset because I took that before when I broke my knee and it worked well for me with little side effects. I would swallow one at bedtime and use a phenergan suppository and that seemed to make my life much easier. Now I just pop some motrin in the morning and a few at bedtime to dull the pain and keep the swelling at bay. It seems to work well.

I still have a lot of swelling on the left side, and some on the right. My chin is still numb and throbs with the most irritating sensation, and te left side of my mouth does not smile yet, but I have a lot of feeling. At my first follow up, five days post-op my Doctor was blown away at how much feeling I had in my lip. I have had an inflamed nerve there (from an old piercing) which just looked like a tag of scar tissue. I had asked him to cut it off and he ended up taking out this huge chunk and having it biopsied. Well, he gave me a good deep stitch there and when I went for the follow up I could feel everything! He was poking around and I kept trying to tell him he was hurting me, but I think he was in denial because I should not have had feeling yet.

Anyway, that is a little disjointed random post regarding my experience with surgery. More to come!

Is it Day 14 or 15?

So I had my surgery two weeks ago yesterday. Do you count the day of the surgery as the first day or not. My husband and I have been debating this. I had my surgery at 730 in the morning, so I kind of think it counts a little. Let's call today Day 14.5.

A lot of the feeling is coming back into my lip, but my chin is still driving me nuts. I still have good nights and bad nights with the sleeping, but the majority of the pain in my joints is gone. I am trying to be extremely diligent about oral hygiene. I don't want anything to get messed up. I brush with a children's toothbrush because it fits better in my mouth right now. I am able to open a little over one finger though and I am working on increasing that each time I take my rubber bands off to eat.

A Political Post

I think the fact that thee will be a record turn-out of voters this year is a testament to what a poor job Bush has done. People don't want to let another four years go by wishing that they had taken the time to vote.

Two Weeks Ago Today

Two weeks ago today and right about at this time, I was waking up from my jaw surgery. For a very brief period of time, I remember feeling amazing (probably the opiods) and then I spent the next 4 days feeling like shit. Seems like a small price to pay. I am pretty happy with my new profile though I am anxiously awaiting the full effect when the swelling goes down.

Only four more weeks until food!

Missing Chewing

So, so far I haven't missed food too much. I mean, I think about it a lot, but I expected that I would be so terribly tortured wanting to eat solid food. I guess the pain and tightness is a natural deterrent to this.

Today, against my better judgement, I blenderized something. It was lentil soup and it looked like shit. Like brown runny poo. I couldn't get past that. I took two bites and thought I was going to barf, and I chucked it down the disposal and opted for some tomato soup which in someway now seemed tainted. This is the first day wen I really missed food, real food.

I also realized today that I will never look the same again. That's not a bad thing, but as the swelling goes down I look in the mirror and I see me, but it does not quite look like me. That will take some getting used to, but I am looking forward to that part. I still want to wear the hat. My chin is still sticky (I wonder if this stuff will ever go away) and when my hair touched my chin it sets off this irritating tingle all through my chin, which is really hard to get rid of.

The numbness is not really numb. I do have a few spots that I can't feel at all, but most spots have this irritating tingle that seems to pulse with my pulse. It is a little like chewing on metal.

Go Me!

I woke up cranky, but actually feel pretty good today. I went to Target and Barnes and Noble, and then to the orthodontist. He was amazed at how decreased my swelling is for 13 days out. I am too considering how sick I got; I would have guesses the puking would aggravate all of that. He took pictures of me to show to future patients. I am still sporting the hat and would have liked to have done my hair had I known I was competing in the Star Search spokesmodel competition. My chin is still sticky so I am going to rock the hat until that goes away.

Posted to the side are the new pics from today. It is time for me to go eat more soup and drink some carnation instant breakfast.

ALSO, I AM WORKING ON AN ARTICLE ON ORTHOGNATHIC SURGERY. IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS FOR ME, PLEASE CONTACT ME. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!

I know, I know

I know I have to get some real BEFORE pics up here, but I don't keep those around. I did have my husband take one and as soon as I get it, I will post it for all the world to see.

Insurance, Jobs, and Cars

I have noticed on a lot of the other blogs, people have posted all about their insurance woes. I am lucky enough to have had my surgery at a military facility free of charge. I did not pay a dime, and right now, compared to all of the other stories, that seems like it was a good thing.

i did have to pay out of pocket for my orthodontics however, and that was $5000. Not a shabby chunk of change when you consider all of the other things in life that need to be bought and paid for. At this point, 12 days out, I feel it was worth it.

I am a little apprehensive about returning to work next week. I thought I would be able to talk a little bit, but I can't talk at all. This is going to be a bit of a burden on me and my fellow co-workers. Assuming that I am healing well (and this is what I hope to hear at tomorrow's visit), this may or may not be an issue. If there are any complications I will need to call my ST disability provider and get the ball rolling to extend my claim.

I did drive the car today for the first time since the operation. It was a little tricky because my neck it so bruised it was pretty painful to turn around, but I managed. When I picked my kid up from school she announced all the details of my surgery to her teacher. She's five so it was quite scientific...I am sure you can imagine.
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I just keep thinking that in the end I will have a healthier jaw, better tooth alignment, and I will no longer be preoccupied by the one thing that permeated my thoughts on a daily basis. I am sure I will still have things to be self-conscious about, and perhaps I won't look exactly how I envisioned, but I will know that I did everything I could to take care of an unfortunate situation, and that makes me feel good.

I am also surprised as HOW MANY people get this surgery. I did not realize it was such a common thing, and there is something comforting in knowing that! So, in support of my fellow liquid dieters I present

A List of What I Ate Today:
Cup a Soup
Juice
A Smoothie from Tropical Smoothie
A Chocolate and Peanut Butter Smoothie from home
A little Vitamin Water
And I am about to have some more smoothie before bed.

I am trying really hard to keep my calories and weight up.

Buffy, and Weird Pains

I bought two seasons of Buffy today to help me pass the time (and because I wanted them). The sensation is coming back and it feels weird. I can totally feel where I was advanced (I think), and it tinges here and there, along with some muscle spasms. I go to the OS tomorrow for a follow-up, so we'll see what he says.

(Oh no! Buffy just lost consciousness!)

In the meantime, here's a new picture from today. I can't stop analyzing the way I look, even with the swelling I am fascinated.

Day 11

Today I am a bit sore and happy to be "convalescing" on the couch. My biggest complaint is that sleeping is just a nuisance. I hope that I can sleep better once I get back to work. Also, as the feeling comes back I am a little sore. Not pain, just soreness. There is also a certain grit in my mouth which I think is from the stitches dissolving and it is kind of odd.

Personally, my husband is doing a good job of taking care of me, except that he questions what I want when I want it. I have been waiting for a coffee and a smoothie all morning long, but he keeps saying "well let's do this and then we can do this" without realizing that I have to do things a certain way for a certain reason and there is a method to what I need when. Add to that the difficulty communicating and it can be very frustrating.

I also need to do some work in my daughter's room today and fold laundry. I am having a pity party today.

Not Much New

I removed the bandage from my chin today and my chin is covered in glue. It's gross and my hair keeps getting caught in it, but really, it's a small price to pay. I am starting to get some feeling back, so my jaw is a little sore today, but nothing big, and once I fell asleep last night, I actually slept for a good while. I go to the Doctor on Tuesday and I am hoping that he will take the splint out then (I got a splint because I grind my teeth). I actually like the splint somewhat, but it makes it hard to eat with the rubberbands on.

Three posts in one day I know, right?

Ok, so the photo below was taken yesterday. The post below the pic lists my immediate post-surgical experience. But what about the personal part of that? Well, here goes.

I am not going to lie. It's hard. I am trying to keep a very positive outlook, but I can't read to my daughter or talk with her which is hard. My husband has been a huge help, but my house looks like a war zone. Picking up is not really his strong point.

From a pain standpoint, I only really hurt in the morning and at the end of the day. I blame most of this on the rubberbands that are pulling my jaw over to the side. I am hoping that next week I will be put on lighter rubberbands. The pain is minimal and the numbness is the real irritating thing. It is not so much numbness as it is tingling. I have feeling in my lip already though which the Dr. is amazed by this considering how much he had to move my nerve around in order not to damage it.

I do have several moments of self pity a day and I have found that the one thing that cures this is watching Eight is Enough. This makes no sense, I know, but it seems to work. I watched it a lot while I was still taking the vicodin so I think it has some kind of hypnotic narcotic association.

On an even more personal note, I had an almost real bowel movement today. I have not had gas or had to poo (amazing for a vegetarian) hardly at all since the surgery. I am guessing this is normal. I don't feel stopped up or anything so I am just going to "go" with it.

Lastly, there is the issue of the diet. I am thin and I lose weight quickly. The Dr. wants me to loose no more than 7 or 8 pounds. This is going to be hard because I am one of those skinny people who can eat a lot and not gain weight. I put on a few pounds before the surgery, but then lost a few of those from anxiety (unecessary anxiety btw). So far I have lost about 6 pounds or so since the surgery and about 10 fro the weight that I put on. I am now about 1.5 less than my typical weight.

This is what I eat:

Carnation Instant Breakfast mixed with Very Vanilla Soy Milk
Vitamin Water
Gatorade
V8 Fruit Fusions
Chicken cup-a-soup (this is not vegetarian I know, and I don't plan to continue it once my diet is changed).
Also, REALLY WATERY instant mashed potatoes can help you feel full

I am trying not to have too many empty calories (like Gatorade) and consume more instant breakfast and V8 than anything else. I am not really into blending foods up to a consistency that is not their normal state. I tried it with baked beans and it was grodie. I do plan to have a huge Chipotle burrito as soon as the Dr. gives me the OK.

I am a bit concerned about letting the orthodontist get back in my mouth, but I am sure as I heal, that fear will pass.

That's all for now!

Yesterday: 8 days post-op

9 days post-op

So, this is my ninth day post-op. My surgery was October 2nd and it seems like eons ago. I was a nervous wreck before hand, but the last thing I remember is them pumping the Versed and me going to lala land. The surgery went well. Because my husband works at the hospital where my surgery was, murphy's law dictates that there be some kind of complication. For me, that involved my nerve running RIGHT ON the jawline where they needed to work...so they really took their time. I had an advancement of 1+cm on the lower jaw and a 4mm advancement of the chin. The drugs that I know I was given are as follows (I can't guarantee these are spelled correctly, I'm not at work):

In the Hospital-
Versed before surgery to relax (love that stuff)
Decadron (steroid for swelling, if they don't push it slow it makes your groin burn!)
Dilaudid for pain
Zofran for nauseau

At Home-
Phenergan for nausea (makes you drowsy too which is a good thing)
Motrin for swelling
Vicodin for take home pain (really helps you sleep)
Clindomycin as a prophylactic antibiotic
Ambien for sleeping (after I stopped taking the vicodin) I had a VERY BAD REACTION to this. Threw up for 24 hours.

My swelling is starting to go down and I can see some of the results. I still have a bandage on my chin to prevent sagging of the muscle in my chin. I can take it off at anytime now, and I think that will be tomorrow.